I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
