people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
