can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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