I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
