I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
