You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
