You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We left the knife in your bed.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Randomize
