dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
