theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She's the barista slut.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I believe in your delicious
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
