i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
