Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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