WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
