I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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