Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
