i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
