You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
