No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
