end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
