what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
