At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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