I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
so let's talk penis.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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