playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
