You really coming over, don't trick.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
