You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
