you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My life is pants optional.
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