He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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