There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
