Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
