I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
