You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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