you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
