Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
