But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
