we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
two words...techno handjob
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
my poor anus
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
