That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
