The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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