Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
