I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
