i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
