Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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