therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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