ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
