Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
