I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
