Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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