Small penises have feelings too.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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