We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
