so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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