Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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