Plan B is the new Plan A
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
